Navigating the Mid-Life Crisis in Women with Confidence and Grace
Navigating the Mid-Life Crisis in Women with Confidence and Grace
If you're in your 40s or 50s, and suddenly the film “Eat, Pray, Love” makes sense, or you're Googling things like "should I leave my job and open a smoothie van by the sea?" or "should I get a tattoo?" welcome to the club! You might just be going through what is known as the mid-life crisis in women.
I swear to you - I watched “Eat Pray Love” about 12 years ago and thought it was rubbish. I didn’t get it AT ALL. Then I watched it a couple of years ago and oh crikey! I was SO ready to pack my bags and go off in search of whatever Julia Robert was on the hunt for. OK my version might have looked like a trip to Wales for a weekend with some girlfriends but nonetheless, I got it!
Before we go any further though, let me just claify one thing. I know that some people will object to the term “crisis” and see it as a negative term but in fact it’s a positive thing. I like to think of it more as a much needed recalibration, a remix, a second act. And it can be soooo liberating.
What Exactly Is a Mid-Life Crisis in Women?
One other thing we need to clear up is this: we’re all aware of the clichés when it comes to men: sports cars, new partners who are NEVER older than their previous ones, spontaneous life overhauls that involve buying “stuff.”
But what I’ve observed in women is that the mid-life shift tends to be more internal. It’s a mix of emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical changes that leave us questioning... well, almost everything we’ve ever come to know.
Common Signs of a Mid-Life Crisis in Women
I still haven’t quite figured it out but my guess is that a number of factors coincide at the same time - like a perfect storm - which throws everything up in the air and which bring about a mid-life crisis in women.
It’s a mixture of stage of life, age of life, children (if we have them) growing up, reflecting on what’s gone before and what’s ahead of us and witnessing what others around us are going through.
Of course it’s much more complicated than that. But there are some common signs such as:
Feeling stuck or restless (like you want more, but don’t know what that is)
Re-evaluating your career, relationships, or identity
A sudden desire to declutter your house, your schedule, or your life (hello new Vinted account!)
Questioning past choices or future goals
Obsessing over your skincare routine (also hello, retinol/collagen/skin-pen rabbit hole)
If any of that sounds familiar, you're not alone, which I think is always reassuring to hear as feeling alone is incredibly isolating. And no — you’re not losing it.
Maybe, just perhaps, we’re waking up?
Why the Mid-Life Crisis in Women Can Actually Be a Gift
Yes, a gift. Really? For sure, it might be wrapped in a little chaos and a few existential questions, but let’s just sit with that thought for a minute.
In fairness I think you only start to see these turbulent times as a gift when you begin come out of the other side of the fog, chaos and dis-oriented state that we can find ourselves in. But hopefully that offers some solace, particularly if you find yourself right in the middle of unsettled waters right now.
It’s a Chance to Press the Reset Button
You’ve spent decades doing the things you were "supposed" to do. Now you get to ask: What do I want?
Point to note: beware, decision fatigue is real. For the first time in nearly 27 years, my husband and I have 3 weeks to ourselves. And can we make a decision on where to go on holiday? Can we heck!
When deciding what you want to do, think back to what you loved to do as a child. There are often clues there. But perhaps you’re ready to try something new. Look up, look around, see what’s on offer, see what others are doing. Decide to try one new thing a month for the next year and just see where it takes you.
It Brings Clarity
When things fall apart a little, it becomes easier to see what really matters. You might start caring less about what others think (which is so freeing).
In the process of putting ourselves back together, we re-prioritise what matters. Mindset, mindfulness, being outside, moving our bodies & spending time with friends and family often take centre stage. It seems to become less about materialism and more about meaningful experiences.
It Sparks New Adventures
This is the perfect time to try that thing you've always dreamed of — whether it’s learning a new language, starting a side hustle, writing a book, riding a motorbike or just wearing things you would have never dared wear before, without apology.
How to Navigate Mid-Life with Confidence and Grace (and a Good Laugh)
As with all of these things, the theory is great! But it’s important to get practical.
Here are some tips for embracing your mid-life reinvention.
1. Start by Getting Curious
Instead of panicking, ask yourself gentle questions:
What makes me feel most alive right now?
What am I craving more (or less) of in my life?
When was the last time I felt really me?
2. Find Your People
Surround yourself with women who get it — the kind who cheer you on when you say you're taking up salsa dancing or cold water swimming and when you change your mind two weeks later.
3. Take Small Brave Steps
You don’t need to pack up and exit your current life entirely (unless you want to). Start small: book the class, write the blog, go on the solo lunch date.
At the same time build a framework into your life of things that you find supportive. Journaling, walking, sound baths, meditating and in my case, baking sourdough, all help to keep the gremlins at bay.
4. Embrace the Weird and Wonderful
Try new things. Even if you’re terrible at them. Especially if you’re terrible at them. And then laugh about it. Life’s too short to play it safe all the time.
5. Laugh. A Lot.
I’ve found mid-life to be weird. There are bits of my body that look like my Mum’s - or my Dad’s - but definitely not like mine. When I do a downward dog and look at my thighs, it’s a bit like a horror show. There are days when my phone doesn’t even recognise my face - let alone me!
I have one child almost the same age that I was when I had her. I have another one who is doing her A-levels, which I remember well. And a middle child who is graduating - a day I also remember clearly. In fact I seem to be permanently time travelling, to the point that my head is spinning.
So yes, when you can summon the energy, laugh through it. It really helps. And marvel at how life is shaping up.
Mid-Life Isn’t the End — It’s the Remix
Here’s the thing: cheesy as it sounds, the mid-life crisis in women doesn’t have to be a crisis at all. It’s an invitation. To reflect, to pivot, to grow. To stop living life on autopilot and start doing things with purpose — and joy.
So go ahead, shake things up a bit. Dye your hair pink. Start the podcast. Move your furniture around. Reinvent yourself as many times as you like.
Mid-life might just be the most powerful, exciting thing that we’ve experienced for a long time.
Are you up for coming along for the ride?
If you have any thoughts or questions, please feel free to come and find me on instagram at bethgoodrham or at denham.derby
Sending much love,
Beth x
PS If as part of your mid-life shake up, you’re tempted to try baking sourdough, or cold water plunging or taking a sauna with your friends, just click on the images below and a free guide will be on its way to you!
PPS To listen to the podcast version of the this blog - please just click the button below!
If you’d like to read the transcript of the podcast, you can do that here:
Hi, and welcome to another episode of the podcast. If you listened to my last podcast episode, which was all about creatine, you may remember that I was talking about how these podcast episodes are going to be easy for me to do, so that I actually do them. What that means is that there won’t be music at the start or end, and there won’t be any ads. It will just be me talking, and then I will disappear.
I also said, while explaining why it was going to be like that, that I would make various mistakes—use the wrong words, get the days of the week mixed up, and so on. And having just listened to the first probably five minutes of that episode as it was uploading, I realized exactly what I meant. But I’m hoping that you’ll give me the grace to think, “She used that word, but I know what she meant.” I think people probably have to do that with me in life quite a lot, and I suspect we do it with others—they might say one thing, but we think, “That’s okay, I’ll let it ride. She didn’t mean that, but I know what she meant.” If we can go with that, it would be really helpful, and the episodes will make more sense to you.
Anyway, today I’m going to be talking about, for want of a better phrase, midlife crisis in women. I’m not talking about it in the sense of a typical midlife crisis in men, which might involve a sports car, swapping their partner for someone younger, or a complete wardrobe overhaul. I’m talking about something a bit more internalized, something I’ve seen many women go through—and something I’ve definitely struggled with myself over the last few years. So I thought I’d chat about it today to give you some insight and tools that might make things feel a little bit easier.
If you are in the middle of one of these midlife crises or turbulent times at the moment, just know—it will get better. Sometimes it’s only when we start to come out the other side that we realize that. But for now, just try to hold yourself steady. Try to be the lighthouse in the choppy seas, and let all the choppiness go on around you.
If you’re a similar age to me—I’m 55—and suddenly the film Eat, Pray, Love makes sense, or you’re Googling random things like, “Should I travel around the world again?” or “Should I get a tattoo?”—not that that’s unusual or out of the ordinary for where you were 10 years ago—then you might be experiencing what could be called a midlife crisis in women. And by the way, welcome to the club! I swear, I watched Eat, Pray, Love about 12 years ago and thought it was absolutely rubbish. I didn’t get it at all—it felt like nothing happened in it. Then I watched it a couple of years ago, and suddenly, all crikey, I was ready to pack my bags and go traveling around the world again. More realistically, it was just a weekend away in Wales with my friends, but it spoke to me on a completely different emotional level than the first time. That was part of the reason I thought, “Hmm, something might be happening here.”
So let’s think about how liberating this midlife crisis can actually be. Although it’s difficult—like many things in life—it can be super liberating. At the same time, it shines a spotlight on things we might not be content with, things we wish we could change, even though we can’t rewind. But even the uncertainty and unsettledness it causes can point us in the right direction for moving forward.
As with most difficult things, it’s usually a combination of factors that creates the “perfect storm.” It can be a mixture of life stage, age, children (if we have them and they’re growing up and leaving home), reflection on the past and future, and witnessing what others around us are going through—whether that’s elderly parents or, like me, a husband who’s left work. There are lots of things going on simultaneously, which can lead us to feel unsettled.
Here are some common signs I’ve identified that might be a clue something is happening:
You may feel stuck or restless, like you want more but don’t know what that is. Perhaps you’ve reached a stage in life where you think, “I didn’t expect to be here now. I thought I would have achieved more,” however that may look.
You might be reevaluating your career, wondering if you’re on the right path and if it’s too late to change.
You might be reevaluating relationships, especially as children grow up and leave home.
Your identity might feel uncertain. We go through so many changes with our bodies, how we look, and how we feel. Suddenly, you realize you don’t fit into the same age groups you once did, which can be unsettling.
You might have a sudden desire to declutter your house, schedule, or life—or all three. Says she who opened a vintage account this summer with a massive desire to strip my wardrobe back to as minimal as possible.
Questioning past choices is common. At this point in life, we often have more time for reflection and introspection.
You might be thinking about future goals and wondering what’s next.
You might find yourself obsessing over little things like your skincare routine, diet, or exercise. There’s nothing wrong with focus, but obsessive traits can emerge.
If any of those sound familiar, you’re not alone—which is always reassuring. Feeling alone can be isolating, and this stage might just be waking you up after decades of being on autopilot. Perhaps this stage in life is a massive gift, even if it comes wrapped in chaos and existential questions.
If you’re in the middle of these turbulent times, now is a good opportunity to press the reset button and start afresh. You’ve probably spent decades doing what you were “supposed” to do, and now you get to ask, “What do I want to do?”
A word of caution: decision fatigue is real. Earlier this summer, my husband and I had three weeks to ourselves for the first time in nearly 27 years. Could we decide where to go on holiday? Absolutely not. The world was our oyster, but it was overwhelming. In the end, we did little trips to Devon, Wales, and Guernsey, but planning was chaotic.
When deciding what to do, think back to what you loved as a child. There are clues there. Another clue is noticing what others are doing. If you see someone else doing something and you feel a twinge of envy—or a thought like, “I wish I could do that”—that’s a sign something inside you wants exploring. Try one new thing for a month and see where it takes you. I’m even thinking of doing that with exercise—trying different activities for a month each, then sticking with the ones I enjoy most.
When things fall apart, it becomes easier to see what really matters. You might care less about what others think, which is freeing. Mindfulness, being outside, moving your body, and spending time with friends and family often take center stage. Life becomes less about material things and more about meaningful experiences. Let go of what weighs you down to focus on what truly matters.
Now is the perfect time to try the things you’ve always dreamed of—learning a language, starting a side hustle, writing a book, riding a motorbike, or wearing things you never dared before. Midlife doesn’t have to be a crisis—it can be an invitation to reflect, pivot, and grow.
Here’s a roadmap for navigating this midlife phase with confidence and grace:
Get curious – Ask yourself questions like, “What makes me feel most alive right now?” or “What am I craving more or less of?” “When was the last time I felt really me?” There are no right or wrong answers.
Find your people – Surround yourself with people who cheer you on, no matter how small or big your new endeavor.
Take small, brave steps – You don’t need to overhaul your life immediately. Start small: book a class, write a blog post, try a new form of exercise. Push yourself a little outside your comfort zone.
Build supportive frameworks – Structure your day with things that ground you, like journaling, walking, meditating, or baking. These keep you steady amid change.
Embrace the weird and wonderful – Try new things, laugh hysterically, and don’t be afraid to look silly. Life’s too short to play it safe all the time.
Find awe – Look at the stars, watch a sunrise, or marvel at nature. Feeling small in the grand scheme of things is grounding and restorative.
Midlife is not the end. It’s a chance to live life with purpose, joy, and curiosity. It’s permission to shake things up, reinvent yourself, and embrace adventure. Some moments may be challenging, but others can be exhilarating. Take the opportunities that present themselves and explore the things you’ve always wanted to try.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this episode and that it has sparked some ideas, reflections, or action steps for you. If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram at @BethGoodham. I’ll also link to the blog post related to this episode in the show notes.
Thanks so much for listening. I’m really looking forward to hanging out with you again in the next episode. Have a fabulous day! Take care, lots of love, and bye for now.